Friday, January 20, 2006

Durnken Dunning.

Okay okay okay okay. so. many things to cover, many many things. 1st thing to cover. Why canada should have a fascist government. Second thing to cover, what categories of stars there are. Third thing to cover, birthdays and why we drink.
Lets start with the latter. Me drink because me cant think of anything better to do with my time. Plus i have money to spend. Plus i want to so shut up. Now on to first category.
Why should canada have a fascist dictatorship. Why i have been urged to blog about this i still dont know. One, there isnt enough dictatorships in the world these days. I mean cmon really I cant think of one, but when was the last tiime there has ever been a succesful fascist dictatorship? Mousilini probably. Im guessing canada doesnt has enough mou but not enough silini in it. I mean we're a pretty tolerant society. Yet were not pro active enough when angered. I mean look at the current state of things. What kind of pussy ass country are we? We used to kick some serious ass and now, were second class to bush. FUCKING BUSH the man who cant figure out how to fucking open up a door on his way out of a press conference holds a fucking trump card over us. That will not stand. I cant tolerate living under that diptshit. That is why we must fight the power with an even greater power my friends. Canada must become fascist. If its one thing Bush fears its past presidents. Or dictatorships. What the hell this post makes no sense. Fuck it.
Second topic. What kind of celeberities are there. Well. personally I only recognised half of the celeberities that Dinning had brought up in his comment. One that I am all to familiar with is Kevin Bacons Penis. You know that sounded a lot more disgusting than i had intended. So please let me explain. There has not been a movie that kevin bacon has been in where he hasnt exposed himself to the world. My first experince with this came with Wild Things. What a shitty movie. Yet it still managed kevin bacons penis exposure. Even though he had a towel in his hand, it didnt matter. The man was out their for the world to see. Im not sure if that takes *balls* huck huck huck or just stupidity. My next exposure to kevin bacons penis was in that movie where he was invisible. His greatest role yet. Yet still, in a movie where you cant see him he still manages to expose himself. Why I do not know. perhaps he just has a problem. I have a problem with him. Yet there he is. The only movie i think he kept his clothes on for was footloose. I am beginging to realize that i know too much about Kevin Bacons penis. Yet the question remains. What category of actor is he. A. B. C . P? No no my friends. Its not that easy. With accolades such as kevin bacon has, its easy to misconstrude his productivity with the average celebrity. I would rank Kevin Bacon personally a D list celebrity. Now I know what your all thinking. Where does that leave malcom jamal warner. Id say if there was a category for no name celebrities he'd be at the top of the list. Personally a C+ celebrity for me is someone like Sean Astin. AKA Rudy AKA Sam from the lord of the rings. AKA that kid in that movie. If you have been immortalized with rudy chants, chances are you have achieved C+ celebrity status.
F Celebrities are amoung the likes of Keanue Reeves. Let it be known that i hate this man with a passion the likes of which none seen since mousilini ruled with an iron fist amoung his fascist dictatorship. Keanue Certainly lacks the Mou. Im surprised that he has as many roles as such. Perhaps if he garnered the lini his credibility would take off.
Finally you may be asking. Dunning this still doesnt make a) sense and b) leave me with a lot of options for the rest of the alphabet so I think I'll have to wrap up this celelbritity slash fascist blog post the only way i can. By listing off the entire alphabet and the actors that best attribute that letter. Let us beging.
A) Johnny Depp
B) The Rock
C) Nick Nolte
d) Pamela Anderson
e) John Stamos
F) Malcom Jamal Warner
G) One of the Baldwins
h) The other Baldwin
i) ALL of the Baldwins
J) that chick with the thing who did the thing in the thing
K) the guy who played swamp thing
L) Kermit the frog
m) stallone circa Rambo 1st blood
N) Dennis quaid
O) Vikram Gill-In I dream of Gelinia-Script yet to be published
P) that dude who played spock
Q) lenord nimoy
R) James earl jones
S) Guy on the subway in spiderman 2
T) Topher Grace
U) that Rat from under the umbrella tree
V) vanna white-or how ever you spell that name
W) Ashton Kutcher
X) Bea Aurther
Y) Elizabeth Burkley
Z) Elizabeth Burkleys left nipple

So there you have it. Im going to go publish this now, before i wind up regreting it. Im more then certain i will. Sorry I couldnt make it more entertaining. Later Days.

Current Music: Fleetwood Mac-Dreams
Current Comic: Allstar Superman-Morrison

7 Comments:

Blogger Graham said...

A couple of things:

1. I can't wait for I Dream of Gelinia. What role is Vikram playing?

2. Kevin Bacon is much more famous than Sean Astin.

3. I think you just became my Personal Hero of the Week by name-checking "Under the Umbrella Tree".

12:10 AM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I'm noticing a pattern of you randomly dropping my name in your hammered posts. What's up with that?

--VG

1:05 AM

 
Blogger Dunning said...

Graham:

1. I cant tell you the role vikram is playing. Though I do have an idea and a name, but its too good so it'll have to wait till i see you in person.
2. No he's not.
3. Your welcome.

Vikram: Because you fit this role. Besides I could ask you whats up with you always telling me im awesome.

3:40 PM

 
Blogger Dickolas Wang said...

Kevin Bacon is much more famous than Sean Astin.

4:15 PM

 
Blogger dinning said...

Are you sure your judgment isn't being clouded by the fact that Kevin Bacon's penis is much more famous than Sean Astin?

5:38 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

It's because you are awesome.

--VG

11:18 PM

 
Blogger Graham said...

Did you ever wonder what could happen under, under the umbrella tree?

1:12 AM

 

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